God heals us in our lives from many afflictions, sicknesses, and diseases. Sometimes unfortunately it is time for loved one's to pass to the afterlife. It's such an excellent question to test your own faith, if you had a child that was possibly dying and may live or not, would you lose your faith in God? The following is a true story of love, measuring one's own faith, and giving into God's will. It was submitted by a Pastor as he recounts the story of one of his children fighting for life.

From the Journal of Raymond Gaea...

August 7, 2003 was a beginning of a night that would change my life forever.

My fourth oldest child Katarina, then ten years old, came home from the first day of fifth grade not feeling well. She had a slight fever and was feeling tired. My wife Wendy gave her some Tylenol and put her to bed. Rina, as we call her, had never missed a single day of school since pre-kindergarten. There were many times she wasn't feeling the greatest but she always managed to make it to school.

The next morning, Rina was still not feeling too good and we helped her walk to the living room and laid her on the couch. I felt if she had seen her younger sister and brother, Lexy and Junior, getting ready for school, it would motivate her to go also.

I went ahead to work and was considering a normal day ahead. This would all change when I got an emergency phone call from Wendy around 2 pm.

She had said Rina was not responding to her at all. I rushed home immediately to see what was wrong with Rina. When I arrived, Rina had lost control of her eyesight and her vocal cords. She was moving her head from side to side and moaning. We kept calling her name, "Rina... Rina!" but it was as if she couldn't hear us. Calling 911, the paramedics arrived and took her vitals but had no clue as to what was going on.

We continued to rush her to the hospital's Emergency Room where they continued to check vitals, CT Scans, and blood tests. Nothing resulted positive to give us any firm answers. University Hospital ER did everything they possibly could and ended up referring her to the Medical College of Georgia Children's Hospital(MCG). MCG proceeded with many tests and they also had no answers. We began to pray for a healing from God Almighty. Morning, day, and night, we prayed continually for God to heal her.

About three days had passed with no answers. Rina could open her eyes and smile but still could not talk. One day, we asked her to draw a picture of a stick figure person. I drew the head with a smiley face and she drew the body. Instead of drawing arms, she drew the wings of an angel. This is something she had never done growing up. Looking back on it today, this is the way I felt God was letting me know that He sent His angels to care for her and to be patient, to have faith and trust in Him.

The very next day the doctors came to check on Rina; she was not responding at all. The staff rushed her from her room to take an emergency MRI of her brain. She had slipped into a coma and doctors still had no answers of what was wrong. They had ran many tests to guess what was wrong but all came back negative.

I continued to pray for a healing and thank God for my daughter as well as my other five children. My every waking moment was dedicated to prayer to our Father. We had so much support from family, co-workers, and also our church family. We had many prayers, songs, and scripture readings. Several pastors came and laid hands on Rina for a healing from God. Five weeks into her coma, we stayed obedient with fasting and prayer. Our main focus was prayer and complete communication with God. We never gave up hope; our faith and trust in God's mercy continued to grow stronger and stronger.

The doctors usually gave us updates at bedside or outside the hospital room. I'll never forget when the head doctor called myself and my wife to a private room in the hospital. He explained that he tried everything he could think of and all test results came back negative. He continued to tell us from this point, he couldn't make any promises of the outcome. We thanked him for his honesty.

I felt in my heart that God was about to take my ten year old Rina home with Him.

Such a great daughter full of love and happiness. What a wonderful personality she had and many memories that was built in ten short years; I loved my daughter with all my heart. The Bible says God knows every man's heart so He knew how I felt. He knew after many prayers and fasting, I had endured all I could. After five long weeks that Rina was in a coma, I was finally ready to give her back to God. I remembered the story of Abraham being called by God to sacrifice his only son that he loved dearly. The story describes his obedience to the God he loved and the sacrifice he was willing to give. This story touched my heart and I was willing to give Rina back to God because I was obedient to Him.

I cried out to God, "Whatever is in your will, I accept it. I will serve you as your servant. If you take her, I love you. If you heal her, I love you. Either way, I will serve you and will be a vessel to witness for you."

God had mercy and heard all our prayers and answered them and woke up Rina from her coma. Thank you, Jesus.

Rina had to learn how to talk and walk again in rehab. She's doing fine and will be 15 years old in December 12, 2007. Praise be to the God that deserves all the Glory.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

**Note: You can read the story of Abraham and his great sacrifice in Genesis 22.

"And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."
- John 14:13-14

Many times in our life we are going to lose something, or we're going to have our kids move away, or perhaps we have to say goodbye to friends that we lived near for many years. It's interesting that I actually don't have a bible verse to reference this subject or topic. But it seems that many people hold on to not only memories of the past, but they have a very hard time of letting go of the people they love or loved.

I won't dispute that marital or love affairs that end are very tragic, and even if both parties wanted it done and over with I think aside from extreme cases involving abuse there is still a bit of missing the other person in all of us. Aside from that I think it's very hard on parents that have to let go of there children finally. Whether they finally move out of the house, across the country, or are leaving for college. I think parents have to go through a deep sense of absence and loss because of this. It's just hard to imagine that they loved and cared for someone so long and now what once was a baby is an adult of there own and needs to go out into the real world and live there own life. It's almost like a dangerous excitement. A part of them is happy for them, and is excited for their future; while another part of them is going to miss them extremely and be deeply saddened by not having them around like they usually were.

I don't know if it makes having kids harder on parents, and I imagine not. As it's just part of the process of being a parent. I read something earlier today that said in parenting a really good thing for the child is to take special time out of each day to acknowledge there existence of course, and let them know you really care for them. Even if it's just a small conversation daily, it reinforces the fact that you love them and they are an important part of your life. Sure sometimes you'll argue in life, there will be times when the kids don't do there chores and it will frustrate you, but at the end of the day both child and parent really need to be grateful for the time they have together. It's hard to be grateful while you have something, but it's so painful to let go without having taken the time to spend with each other.

I'm not telling anyone out here how to parent there children, and I'm not saying that we don't love our children or our parents. All I wanted to say was that it's worth that five minutes or ten minutes a day spending with our child/parent to let them know we care about them, and in the end it will lessen the pain hopefully of finally having to let go.

In this modern age, a healthy lifestyle is the latest fad. This isn't to suggest that this is a bad thing; on the contrary it is very important to look after your health to ensure a long and proactive life.

And yet as much as we now try to maintain our physical peak, we make the mistake of thinking, that's all we have to do. We are both spiritual and physical beings, so of course it makes sense that if we only look after one side of ourselves, our balance is thrown out of whack.

The Bible is full of stories of people who have been miracuously healed. And yet in the story of Levi, a tax collector, Jesus sets the tone that physical healing isn't as important as our spiritual health.

Luke 5:27-32
After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.

Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

If we were already perfect, then we never would have needed Jesus to redeem us. Yet even though we know this, we still get deluded into thinking we are perfectly fine regardless. And because of this, we let our spiritual health slip into dire straits.

I know I'm guilty of this. I struggle to commit to reading the Bible on a regular basis. I struggle to maintain an active prayer life. I struggle to pay attention during church. All of us have been guilty of this, whether for short bursts of time or extended periods.

But the truth of the matter is, God doesn't ask us to do this just for the sake of keeping Him happy. He asks this of us because He knows that in the long run, this will help us. This will make us happier, even if right now we cannot see that.

The only way to maintain our spiritual life, is with God's help. Trying to do it on your own, is like trying to box with one hand tied behind your back. Sure, you may get a couple of good hits in, but overall, you're just going to go down. It's impossible to be whole without a healthy spiritual life, and it is impossible to have that healthy spiritual life if you don't actively pursue God in your life.

Nor can we live a healthy life at all if we seek to only maintain our physical health and neglect the rest.

It amazes me every time I think about it. Every time I let my mind wonder to the cross. Jesus died for us! He didn't have to do this. He didn't even have to care but he did! What greater love can you have for someone then laying down your life for them.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
John 15:13 (New International Version)

He continually will love us even if we do wrong to him by sinning in anyway. He is more quick to forgive then to get angry. He remembers who we are and what we are. He pleads to the Father in our defense. He is our advocate and our Redeemer.

"...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12 (New International Version)

"...for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."
Psalm 103:14 (New International Version)

This is what I think of when my minds wonders to the cross and to what he has done for us. I think that in our busy lives it can be easily forgotten, and easily pushed to the back of our minds. This should always be at the forefront, so we know why we exactly choose to follow him and to follow one of his greatest commandments...

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
John 15:12 (New International Version)

My message this week is betrayal. Surely we have all experienced this in some way, shape, or form, especially with our friends. When you tell them a secret and they go behind your back and tell them that secret or when they tell you that you will be there "best friend forever" but they let you down as soon as they find someone new. Take my word for it hurts. It hurts to be betrayed. This and more later in this message.

Betrayal is a form of deception. Originally, my topic today was going to be deception but I changed my mind seeing as because of the fact that I am experiencing betrayal now I would have better knowledge. Also, I would be able to better convey my feelings and emotion in this text. So the definition of betrayal is "to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to". Some ways to betray others do not always have emotional effects. For instance, a form of betrayal can be seen in mystery, adventure, and spy movies. It seems that there are always an antagonist character that is deceive and betrays the hero. Its a fact. But sometimes it can happen a little more close to home. It can be a friend that has leaned on your shoulder, that you have helped and nurtured for a while but then when it seems that they find a love interest or some other substitute they leave you out to dry. This is not cool beans!

When I am betrayed, I feel stupid or idiotic at first because I can't believe that I got myself in that situation. I can't believe that I was so blindsided by whatever it was to not notice something too good to be true. Putting that in different terms, I was so into being a good friend and believing that everything will be perfect that I didn't stop to think that this person has done it to others, why not me. Then I feel enraged. I feel anger towards that particular person for making me feel the roller-coaster of emotions that I am going to feel. After, I feel sad. Not particularly because that I have been betrayed but mostly because I feel stupid that I let myself get to that position. The last emotion I feel is, animosity. I truly dislike that person from that point on and begins the cold-shoulder treatment. It's probably a human instinct. Most all people use that treatment.

After betraying someone it takes a long time for that person to forgive you. You have put that person through so much unnecessary hurt. So to avoid all of that. Just don't betray anyone!

How close are we to God? How much time do we spend a day thinking about God? Are we by example living Christian lives that can have a positive effect on others? Or do we hide in the crowd amongst everyone else with nobody ever being able to spot you and say "that person is a Christian".

At the end of the day, have we done anything of worth or value that we can look back upon and smile and say we are proud of what we did that day because we did some good in the sight of the Lord? What point is there to life, if we don't do anything meaningful? Does making money and buying nice things make life meaningful or is it just a way to make life a little more tolerable? Are we empty inside while we try vainly to fill the void with the pleasures of the world, the little things that make the day go by just a little bit faster just to get through it?

If everything was taken away from you today, what would you have left? If you died today, what would you leave behind besides personal possessions? It doesn't matter what we do or how we live. Life is meaningless, completely utterly meaningless without God. But don't think that simply keeping God in our thoughts is the way to add meaning. We need to come to God ready to give up everything we've worked hard for, everything we own, everything we do, ready to change our lives from beginning to end, prepared to be a true servant of the Lord.

When a church does this, when it decides that the way it has been going on is no longer up to par to The Lord's command and decides to make a change, it is called a reformation. When a person does this, it is called rebirth through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Let us find meaning again, and come back to God. Even if we have already been baptized and have drifted away, God is always longing for our return to Him.

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them. (Ps 145.18-19)"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. (Prov 3.5-6)"

'Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." '
- Genesis 4:6-7.

Desire. What does it mean to you? What does it mean to me? Desire covers a whole multitude of things, whether referring to an intense sexual want or even simply wishing for something. How can a word mean so much good and also pertain to so much evil? What I want to talk about today is keeping tabs on your desires. Because in all reality, sin doesn't start when you make a move or take an action but it starts from within, from your mind and your thoughts.

I would say that for the most part, I am a good person or at least, I am trying to be a good person. I don't smoke or drink in excess. I don't set bad examples for others who are watching me or waiting for me to screw up. I'm not perfect; no one is. However, there is always something that will haunt you. Something that will always try to pull you back into the person you used to be, the person you're trying so hard to change from. It says in verse 7,"Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." The way I take this verse is that it's not only us who have problems with desire and wanting or wishing for something we don't have but Satan desires us as well; sin desires to conquer us. If we don't keep tabs on what we're doing, we risk falling prey to that sin.

Be aware of what your true desires are. If they are in God's will and grace, may you soon be blessed as you grow stronger in Christ. But if you see that they are not right with God, be aware that sin first starts within you. If you don't take notice of these dark desires and conquer them, you will soon be facing a lot of trouble and danger. While it is hard to tell yourself no, just be aware that God is there to help you and Jesus did bear your burdens on the cross so that you might live to see another day. You are not alone in your struggles but that doesn't mean that it's all up to Jesus to save you from yourself. It takes teamwork. You have to open the door before Jesus can come in and work miracles in your life.

"If you extend your soul to the hungry
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
The LORD will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."
- Isaiah 58:10-11.


I was thinking about volunteering today. I used to do a lot of volunteering when at school by either working at my school's library or even the local community library as well as tutoring students before or after school. I remember my last year of middle school, I signed up for a summer program in which middle school students created a garden. That was a great experience in itself with the friends I made that year and being allowed to work with my hands in a physical sense to shape the earth.

There is something so great about lending a helping hand to others. In recognizing another's needs above your own, you "satisfy the afflicted soul, then your light shall dawn in the darkness, and your darkness shall be as the noonday." You bring peace and solutions to that person who was troubled, no matter how small or how temporary you feel that bit of help may last. I do believe that volunteering is an enriching experience in which everyone should try at least once or twice while youth still permits it. Having said that, I haven't volunteered in a long time. Probably since 2004. It's not because I don't have time but because I haven't made the time to do so.

I think that there are a lot of people who mismanage their time, including myself. Some people put off taking the garbage while others put off going to church. Not enough time in the day or any day out of the 168 hours a week to make time for anything undesirable. With my own time, I've found that I can do both bad and good with it. There were certain times in my life where I was grateful to rest and there were times in which I felt alone and useless. Because of all this free time, I was allowed to entertain dark thoughts, evil thoughts. Free time that used to be volunteer time became selfish time. Pity party time- time that could have seriously done some damage if those thoughts had evolved.

"Your light shall dawn in the darkness and your darkness shall be as the noonday," Isaiah 58 says. By using your time to help others, you not only get to show your faith through works but you also heal your life of darkness. Even on your dark days, the sun will still be at its highest and brightest. The benefits of helping others is also bringing vitality to your mind, body, and soul. By volunteering, you can bring joy and peace to others' lives while helping renew your own.

You ever encounter someone who is hard at hearing? Or the type of hard hearing that's selective? Have you ever encountered someone who speaks before listening? Someone who doesn't take the time to consider the weight of their words?

There are many times in which I've had trouble listening to myself because I don't know what part of me created a great story to retell to everyone, including myself, and there have been many times in which I alter truth simply because I don't want to listen to what the real story is. After a while, little white lies have a habit of snowballing into more dangerous lies. You could possibly lose yourself in that alternate reality you have created. You could also hurt people at the price of keeping your "truths" intact.

My challenge for the month of March is to be brutally honest with and to myself, to not be hard at hearing when someone tells me something for my benefit. To listen to what I need to do and to accept criticism that will benefit me in the long run. There is no shame in accepting help from others as long as you take it into consideration. While there are undoubtedly haters who will say spiteful things, learn to discern the difference between constructive criticism and just plain mean.

There is no one person who should know me better than me. There should be no person that decides who I am or what I'm about. While it may not seem to outright hurt you to tell white lies to get you through the day, deceiving yourself will only set you up for a longer path to discover truth.

"He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame."
- Proverbs 18:13.